Posts Tagged "first time mother"

Dear Breasts: A Mommy’s Open Letter

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Dear Breasts: A Mommy’s Open Letter

Dear Breasts, We’ve been avoiding eye contact, and I know it’s been awhile since we last spoke. Recently, we both said some things we didn’t mean. I guess we’ve always had a difficult relationship. As a teenager I put pressure on you to be someone that you weren’t in order for me to keep up with the other faster growing girls. I apologize for the time my mother caught me smearing you in Hellman’s mayonnaise because my friend Amber Scott told me this was the best way to make you grow. Needless to say, we were unable to make potato salad that night. It wasn’t until college that I...

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How Honest Are Parents?

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How Honest Are Parents?

I wouldn’t call my twins ugly, but let’s just say, “I pray they have a great sense of humor.” My family gets so frustrated when I say things like this, but in my heart-of-hearts my seven-week old twin boys are “interesting” looking. The Lion, the oldest by 60 seconds, is HUGE. He looks like a middle aged undisputed sumo wrestler who fell behind in his taxes. And, Lord don’t get me started on my Little Old Man. His face could really use a smile. He looks like that grumpy grandfather who lived on the corner and cursed the kids for walking on his grass....

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Take These Babies…Please!

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Take These Babies…Please!

If you have never threatened to throw your baby out of a window, put them in the dryer or leave them on a strangers door step, than congratulations, you’re a better parent than I am. Look, I know the only way babies have of communicating themselves is through crying, but after a while “something has got to give”. After you have changed them, fed them, burped them and rocked them while humming every song in the book, you would think that the natural progression would be for the baby to fall asleep, right? No. Babies defy logic. Believe me, when you have done all that you...

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Delivery Fight Club

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Delivery Fight Club

Now as I prepare for the birth of the twins, I find myself thinking back to the delivery of my first child, S Dot. Before delivering my son, I asked every mother I knew, “How does child birth feel?”… and the clearest answer I received was, “imagine your worst menstrual cramps and multiply times 100”. Let’s just say that did not nearly detail what I felt. But my girlfriend/hair stylist (who has an 11 and 13 year old) told me a woman is not suppose to tell a new mother what delivering a child feels like, as to avoid scaring her. I guess it’s like the first rule of Fight Club. There...

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So You Had A Bad Day?

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So You Had A Bad Day?

Have you ever had dark thoughts? I mean the type of thoughts that make it hard for you to look in the mirror or consider yourself a “good person”. Those are the kind of thoughts I’ve been battling for months. I’ve been so consumed with sadness that it has been easier to talk about everything else but the one thing that is truly bothering me. Why? Because there is nothing worse than when a person catches you when you’ve hit your bottom. It’s the equivalent of crying at work (I HATE CRYING AT WORK!!!). But, I’ve realized that I’m being a hypocrite. The reason I started Mommy’s Open Diary is...

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