Posts Tagged "depression"

You Owe Me An Apology!

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You Owe Me An Apology!

I was born and raised in the most “human” city in America. I’m a Baltimore girl through and through. My cell phone number still starts with, “410”. I was the first-born grandchild, showered with love but weighted with responsibility. I was what the church folks called an “old soul”. Immaturity wasn’t a luxury afforded to me. I was a young black girl maneuvering the neighborhood’s of Sandtown-Winchester, 72- square blocks of layered history. In the ’80s, my grandfather would love to boast of Baltimore’s most notable figures. I sang to Billie Holiday. I wanted to be as intelligent as...

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Some Pain Comes Tailored Made

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Some Pain Comes Tailored Made

These last three months have been coming at me fast, but oddly I find myself taking its impact like Neo dodging bullets in the matrix. I’m not saying, “I haven’t been hit.” But, the lessons I’m learning are making me stronger. My younger cousin lost her grandmother yesterday, and as I spoke with her this morning, I reflected on the pain of losing our grandfather. Oddly, when grandpa died I was around my cousin’s age, a recent Morgan State graduate breaking into the marketing world. Good grandparents act as a child’s first cheerleader. They see your magic even as the world is...

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Make Me Wanna Holler

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Make Me Wanna Holler

I want Mommy’s Open Diary to be a bright spot, a point of positive conversation, a place where we can laugh about this crazy thing called parenting. But, I haven’t been in a positive place for a few months, and it is effecting my spirit. There is so much darkness spreading throughout the world it has been difficult for me to find a balance between my “surrounding reality” and my “immediate reality”. What does that mean? Well, my surrounding reality is the 129 deaths in the recent Paris attack, the 147 deaths in Kenya, or the growing protest of the Black...

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Perception vs. Reality

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Perception vs. Reality

Most people would consider me to be a fairly self-sufficient woman. I take pride in going in alone and handling my business. And, therein lies the problem. I’ve allowed my “perception of strength” to fool me into believing that asking for help is a weakness. I heard a quote once that knocked me on my behind, “If you are too proud to admit you are hurting…don’t be surprised if no one seems to care”. The week following my twins birth was the hardest time of my life. See, I’m not a fan of hospitals, which makes me a horrible patient. I had an...

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Feeling Some Kinda Way

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Feeling Some Kinda Way

Childbirth is ironic, isn’t it? A mother carries life for 9-months, the effects on her body are astounding, the pain of delivery is excruciating. Yet, when a mother loses her child, the pain felt during birth is eclipsed by the unfathomable pain of her child’s life being taken away. February 26, 2012, Trayvon Martin was killed.  He was a 17-year-old African-American boy who was fatally shot by a neighborhood watch volunteer in Florida.  My first born son had just turned 6-months old. July 17, 2014, Eric Garner died in New York City, after a police officer put him in a choke hold...

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