I Don’t Know How to Raise a Child!

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One of my favorite pictures with my father

When I was pregnant with Shawn, I remember sharing my nervousness with my father. I didn’t grow-up dreaming of having children. And, because of a few of my “less than desirable” character traits (e.g., all those associated with being a Type A personality and a typical Aries), I just knew I would drive my son into the hands of therapist.

Though, I’m considered a bit of perfectionist, my husband is viewed as the calm one. He has the greatest sense of humor and the most ingenious mind, but don’t let the smooth exterior fool you, he’s a bit of a “nut” himself. Together we make for a great reality show, but how would we fair as parents?

Copyright MOD. Do not download without permission.I called my father one day and said, “Daddy, what am I going to do? Raising a daughter is one thing, but raising a boy comes with a different set of responsibilities. The world is rough on young men, especially minorities, there are so many pitfalls to avoid and the odds are stacked against them. I want Shawn to be strong but not insensitive, he needs to value education but I want him to appreciate the arts and creativity, he needs to be a fighter without being a bully, I want him to respect others but never allow himself to be blinded, he needs to know the importance of giving and sharing but he can’t be a push-over, He has to stand his ground but I need him to recognize when it’s best to walk away, I want him to be a serious man but still be able to laugh at himself…Daddy, I want my son to be a good person.”

My father’s response, “ continue to be the person that you are and the rest will happen.”

That’s the way my father is, I come to him with what seems to me to be a complex issue and his solution is simple. Children want to be what they see. They want to do what you do. So, if you’re a parent doing interesting things and being a good person your child will do the same.

My diary entry is this, “My child will be the best that he can be, but it starts with me.” Whew, talk about pressure! 😉

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