How Does Your Child See You?

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I am a severely flawed human being. Actually, depending on what day you catch me, you might not even consider me a human being. But, Lord knows I’m trying.

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Amir (Younger Twin)

If you told me 10 years ago that one day I would be married with three children under three, two of which are twins, there’s a good chance I would have kicked you in the balls (whether you had balls or not).

My husband and I will tell you, “having three babies is hard”! When I’m not working a full-time job, my home life is filled with washing clothes, making bottles, cooking, changing diapers, wrestling on the floor, tickle fights, reading children’s books, toilet training, singing songs, negotiating food consumption (i.e., If you finish eating your green beans, mommy and daddy will give you ice cream after dinner…), watching Nick Jr., Disney Jr. and Sprout, blowing bubbles, giving baths, suctioning noses, kissing boo-boos, deciphering incoherent toddler babble, washing dishes, sweeping the floor, dumping the trash, wiping tears and picking boogies (all in no particular order). But, I’m not complaining. I get it. As parents we do what we have to do, right? No one congratulates you at the end of the night.

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S Dot (Oldest Son)

There’s no parade or fireworks with your name blazed across the sky and a crowd chanting, “job well done” or “it couldn’t be done without you”!

Honestly, if I can get :60 to sit on the toilet without a random toddler busting in the door singing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or asking to play “Wallykazam” on my iPad, I’d say that is a reward in and of itself!

Yet, in the midst of this whirlwind we call “parenthood”, I don’t think it’s unusual for a parent to wonder, do my children see me, I mean REALLY see me?!?! Well, this Mother’s Day I received my answer.

Last week S Dot’s daycare provider, Ms. Marsha, had all of the children look through piles of magazines to find a picture of their mother to cut out and paste on cards. She told me that my 2 ½ year old son sat at the table for a long period of time flipping through dozens of magazines. He didn’t rush the decision so he could carry on with play-time. She tried to help him, pointing out black women, white women, short, tall, etc…, but S Dot kept saying “No, that is not my mommy.” After a good amount of time had passed S Dot walked over to the teacher holding a magazine and exclaimed, “Ms. Marsha, THAT’S my mommy!”

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Nasir (Older Twin)

So, they proceeded to cut and paste the woman on a card. On Sunday, my 2 ½ year old son presented me with flowers he personally selected and a card that represented the woman HE perceives ME to be.

 

The woman was natural, beautiful and stylish– with a hint of attitude. In a nutshell, she was everything I would love to think I am. And, for my 2 year old son to compare me to her, I was beyond moved. I cried. My heart felt full. In that moment I realized that a man’s first perception of a woman is threw his mother.

Yes, I’m far from perfect and I have made more mistakes than a little bit, but when I saw myself through my son’s eyes it made me stand a little taller, hold my head a little higher and work a little harder. And, isn’t that what it’s all about?

My diary entry is this, “The children are watching. Try to give them something worth seeing.”

 

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